Back to School

Ever since Emilia was about a year old I started to think that the career path I picked was the wrong one.  Actually, I think it started just after I graduated. I felt like the Recreational Therapy path I picked wasn't really going to get me anywhere.  There weren't a lot of jobs in it and the jobs that were available (nursing homes and the Utah State Hospital) didn't pay that well.  After I got my Bachelor's degree I thought a lot about whether I should go get a Master's or continue to pursue my career.  Since Kent had a lot more school left and I didn't really have a plan I just decided to work and support us.  So for the last 14ish years I have pretty much wished I would have just gone to nursing school.  At BYU I feared nursing school because I saw two of my sisters go through it.  And BYU has a reputation for having torturous chemistry classes.  The other thing that was a real stumbling block to me at the time was the fact that I didn't have a car.  There were lots of clinicals in Salt Lake and the area all around Provo.  Looking back, I don't feel like these were great reasons but at the time they were what I saw as obstacles.  It's easy to say that those weren't good reasons now, because I wish I would have had the guts just to make it happen.  All these years it was pretty much impossible to do it.  I had even more reasons.  And the main reason was my desire to be a mom; which is a great reason.  But I always wished I could make it happen, I always felt like I wasted my freedom, youth and resources by doing something that was a "waste of time."  And I felt stuck.

Now I have a measure of freedom again.  All my kids are in school.  I have more time during the day.  I still wish I had done it when I was younger, but wishing isn't going to change anything so I need to just stop regretting and just do it now.  This means forking out a LOT more money this time around. Tuition is more expensive.  And I will be doing a lot of the prereqs one by one, which costs more than being a full time student.   AND it is a lot harder to get academic scholarships when you already have a degree.  AND I have a lot more to balance, with family and kids etc.   But I want it.  I missed the boat the first time and I am making a choice not to miss it the second time around.  And it will be hard.   And some days I will hate it.  But I want to do it, and I'm going to.  Thanks Kent for supporting this.  I'm excited for this new journey I'm starting.  I'm going to pay for my first online class today.  Bon Voyage.